The Second Best Invention of the Century
by anaime7
Summary: -In which Rukia discovers the ingenuity of humankind is not limited to Chappy merchandise and drags Ichigo along for the ride. Very cracky. A drabble. Read at your own risk.


**The Second Best Invention of the Century**

_By: anaime7_

Ichigo suddenly realized that Rukia, who was just beside him, wasn't walking beside him anymore. He groaned silently. Great, Rukia probably saw another Chappy merchandise in one of the shop windows and would probably wheedle him into buying her said item in less than, oh, about ten minutes.

The first three minutes would consist of Rukia staring with wonder at the Chappy item before her, complete with starry eyes and a drooling mouth. The next two minutes would have Rukia dragging Ichigo before the window to make him stare at the stupid bunny. An argument would then ensue for about four minutes, before Ichigo conceded with a scowl and ended up buying Rukia whatever she wanted.

Ichigo considered making a run for it this time, dash off before Rukia found him, but some compelling force above forced him to stay where he was, waiting for the inevitable onslaught.

Strange. Five minutes must have passed by now, and there was no Rukia at his elbow, dragging him along to meet her new best friend. Ichigo prayed a quick prayer before glancing back at Rukia.

Indeed, she was standing about five meters away from him, staring with an almost worshipping gaze at…

A pair of high heeled stilettos.

Ichigo blinked. No, there was no bunny shop in sight, in fact, the only things in the window display were pairs stacked on pairs of dangerously high heeled shoes. Rukia's fervent gaze was for sure directed toward a pair of those shoes in that mountain pile of colourful, uncomfortable shoe wear.

Before Ichigo contemplated, once again, to make a run for it, Rukia was dragging him along and pulling him towards the shoe display.

_Oh dear._

Ichigo tried to break free, but Rukia's grip was too tight. She held him in place with an iron grip and somehow mentally directed Ichigo's gaze to her next victims.

They were a pair of very high high heels with, Soul Society forbid, multitudes of Chappy faces decorated on the smooth, glossy surface.

_Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear._

Two minutes of Rukia's further staring and Ichigo's lamented, silent cries passed before Rukia spoke up.

"Ichigo, what are those?"

Ichigo wanted to smash his head against the window of the display for a second, "they're, um, shoes."

"Really? How come they look so different? Why is there a pointed stick at the back of the shoe? Are they weapon shoes?"

Ichigo mentally cringed at the allusion of heels being weapons, "um, those are called heels. They make people who wear them taller."

"Really?" Rukia's enthralled voice grew just a tad _bit_ more excited.

"… Y-yes."

The next thing Ichigo knew was that he was being dragged into the shoe store and shoved on a stool against his accord. Rukia was in a frenzy, putting on heels of different sizes and shapes before settling with the original pair of Chappy heels on her feet. She dragged Ichigo up from the stool and a delighted expression broke out unto her face. Ichigo had been slightly freaked out at the maniac grin she sported before noticing what she was getting so happy about. _Oh. _Rukia, whose head normally hardly reached his collarbone, was now almost level with his chin.

She seemed so worked up over this amount of growth that Ichigo couldn't help the comment that flew out of his mouth, "you still don't reach my face, y'know."

A sharp thing stabbed at Ichigo's foot and Ichigo let out a huge yelp, "ow, woman! Watch where you point those things!"

Rukia ignored his comment, "you're buying them for me. These are the best inventions you humans have ever made before."

"What, hell no! It's not like it makes much of a difference anyway-"

Ichigo stopped clear at the look on Rukia's dangerously smiling face and at the notice of a slightly pointed pressure that was settling itself rather comfortably in the middle of his shoes.

"You're buying them for me," Rukia smiled up at Ichigo with her innocent, shining schoolgirl face.

Ichigo gulped and made no comment.

"Great. Now help me walk in these things," Rukia said as she gripped Ichigo's arm tightly, "I don't know how."

Ichigo heaved a sigh and swallowed another comment because those shoes were still very close to his own feet.

The next minute found Ichigo with a much lighter wallet than when he started out with, a pair of normal shoes in his hands and Rukia leaning against his arm for support.

_Well, it wasn't so bad, _Ichigo thought as Rukia leaned more into his weight as they walked along, _just as long we make it home without incident…._

Ichigo was jerked back and almost tripped trying not to bump into Rukia because that stupid midget just decided to stop walking for some reason, "oi, Rukia, what the-" Ichigo stopped short as he saw Rukia's familiar concentrated, ecstatically curious gaze on another window display.

_Oh, no…. _

The next thought came in much more fervently than the previous one as Ichigo saw what Rukia was looking at.

"Ichigo, what are those?" Rukia asked as she pointed at a Chappy covered satin bra in the window display next to her.

_Oh, no, no, no, no, no._

Ichigo was never going to set foot in a mall ever again.

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: Don't own bleach. <em>Do people still do this?<em>

_AN:_ Um, yeah. A slight drabble (I call an almost 1000 word ficclet a drabble, ha!). Popped into my head and I thought _'eh, what the heck'_. Might have not made much sense. I haven't been here for a while. It's sorta weird, actually. Hopefully someone reviews. Let it be you. Tell me if you hate it, because my writing skills is rusty to the point where it's almost beyond repair. You can tell from the seven begginning sentences of this _AN. _They're choppy to the point where I can see the sentences becoming blocks.

I'm actually very skeptical about the title. Is it best, or bestest? ... And for those of you who haven't figured out the best invention in the century yet... It's chappy...

Don't worry if you didn't understand the fic or the author's note; I've just read the latter, and it doesn't make much sense at all. So it's definitely not your problem, but my overall lacking sanity.

_-anaime7_


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